The road to self improvement
Mindful of a recent drunken promise made as the night train rumbled its way across Europe, and uncomfortably aware that, despite having spent almost two months of last year in Italy my vocabulary is still limited to swearing, various sexual practices, parts of the anatomy and a range of food items, I have taken the plunge.
From now on I shall be spending Wednesday afternoons in the rather grand surroundings of the Italian Cultural Institute, a fine stucco building in the heart of Belgravia, learning the language and customs of that ancient civilisation.
By July I shall, according to the syllabus, be able to ‘understand and use everyday expressions and simple phrases, ask and answer basic questions and interact if the other person speaks slowly and clearly.’
Hah! By then I intend to be reading Dante in the original and chatting up raven-haired beauties in backstreet bars.
Oh yes. Or rather, si.
Which reminds me of one of my favourite Dorothy Parker lines:
‘That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say "no" in any of them.’
Hell, why would you want to?
posted by Lady V at 9:55 pm
11 Comments:
Ah, I shall trust your judgement in ordering! You the inspiration to all, darling.
Um... "Ciao, bella!"
ah piccola tottina...you just need to master one line ``non mangio prosciutto''
and - ne' carne ne' uomini. Ah!
CLICK
just don't say that to gina!
Quando saprai tradurre questo messaggio, sara' giunto il momento per te tottina di cambiare nome e chiamarti Caterina Androna, tenere corte in quel di Maremma circondata da piccoli animali da cortile e qualche poppante - forse tuo, forse d'altre giovincette locali...
;o)
Clearly, can already translate that with ease... errrr, not sure that is the glittering future that I've always dreamed of.... but there you go, village life may be my destiny, you can take the girl out of the village but you can't take the village out of the girl....
court darling, court. You shan't live in a village hut - a capanna - of course. Only palazzi for you, mia cara...!
Oh, thank god for that!
A mansion darling or I shall say Caterina Androna ( genius ).
Thank you darrrrrrlin'
I do have my moments of good clever humour. For example over the weekend I cracked one of the best jokes in a while. Talking about minority rights, blah blah blah, I preached my well-thought (er...) position to gaping audience totalling 2, concluding with the final remark:
"... and let me add, I can talk as part of a minority, so with a degree of self-interest in the subject of minority rights. I belong to the minority of people in this world who are intelligent".
Roaring silence followed by walk-out.
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